It’s been a long old time on this here blog.
I think I’m tired of the name.
I think I’m tired of the pattern.
I think I want to start fresh.
Strip things bare.
The name, the style, the blog was right, well-chosen a couple of years ago, but the time since then has been a slow metamorphosis of me.
Then, I was a slightly battered, still tottering girl-woman-newmother, writing essays to answer questions about questions, looking for certainties to cry out into the big void of the world, seeking – something – but without any clear idea of what. And that uncertain, rather diligent little creature has been quietly growing, changing – into – me – as I am now. And setting out in consciousness towards what I will be – when I get to infinity?
But as for now, the only thing worth grasping, how am I now?
Stronger, happier, better, freer. Crashing around the same as I ever did, but aware now more than before that I am crashing around and that it is me crashing around.
(Have I “found myself”? Is this what they mean when they say that?)
And that slow metamorphosis – where does it lead?
Not back here, surely not.
Time to move on?