Here is the conversation we had while leaving nursery in the car park and then in the car. (I would have posted this one yesterday if I wasn’t too busy being on Facebook. Anyhow.)

SHE: [Cries]
ME: What’s wrong?
SHE: [Cries some more]
ME: Are you crying because Jade* was upset?
SHE: [Gulps, swallows, nods, cries.]
ME: But she’s all right now, look [pointing]
SHE: [Cries]
ME: Come on, love, you don’t need to be upset.
SHE: [Sniffling] I want to be upset.
ME: You want to be upset?
SHE: Yeah I do I do want to mummy.
ME: What makes you want to be upset?
SHE: [Silence punctuated by sniffling]
ME: Are you OK now?
SHE: I want to take a cake home mummy.
ME: Oh, did you make cakes? I didn’t see any.
SHE: I want to take a cake home.
ME: Did you make cakes?
SHE: I want one mummy. [Cries some more.]
ME: You didn’t make any but you want to take one home anyway?
SHE: Yes, I want one.

(*Not her real name. The girl had been bitten by a small boy seconds before her mother arrived. Big scene.)

So that was how we came to make cakes yesterday. I told her if she cheered up and stopped being a misery guts we could make cakes and it worked. Cruel but effective.

Here was today’s end-of-nursery conversation:

ME: Hello, Ariel!
HER: [Looks sad.]
ME: Hello!
HER: [Looks sad.]
ME: What’s up, honey? Do you want a cuddle?
HER: [Turns away, looks sad.]
ME: Are you sad?
HER: [Nods almost imperceptibly. Looks, if possible, even sadder.]
ME: What’s made you sad?
HER: [No answer.]
ME: Are you upset with mummy?
HER: [No answer.]
(Nursery staff intervene to explain she has been a bit sad since her carer Ayasha* had to go home early today.)
ME: Are you sad because Ayasha went home?
HER: [Whispers sadly] Upset.
ME: Are you upset with mummy or because Ayasha went home?
HER: [Whispers] Ayasha.
ME: Poor old you. You’ll see her next week.
HER: [Silence]
ME: Do you want a cuddle to make you feel better?
HER: [Turns away.]
ME: Shall we come back next week and tell Ayasha off for going home?
HER: [Scathing look.]

What do you do with them?!

I think the problem is just that she is tired because she hasn’t slept too well the last few nights. Worrying, I speculate, about the possibility of having an Accident in bed now that she is out of nappies. Ho hum. I eventually cheered up by taking her to Asda to buy nice things for a picnic tomorrow. We are going to look at helicopters.