A fish certainly doesn’t need a bicycle, any more than a woman needs a man or a man needs an invisible two-thousand-year-old superhero.
However, as we have been discovering, a fish tank does need to cycle in order for the fish to be safe. This has nothing to do with wheels. Whatever.
The point is, that my aquarium seems to be nearly there, already. I picked up a nitrate test kit today (I didn’t think I’d be needing one of those for a while) and after following the 700-step water chemistry degree-level operating procedure I have discovered that my fishtank got nitrate. This is good. It means that nitrite-eaters are eating nitrite and turning it into nitrate. This is great!
All I need to do now is await the final drop-off of my nitrite level to zero, and then we can go get more fish. Gimme a woo-hoo!