Take: half a bag of not-very-ripe-or-tasty cherries*, possibly on the turn; a capful of vanilla essence; and a couple of big pinches of sticky brown sugar – say, dark muscovado.

[* I bought some out of season, big mistake. What can I say, they were on special offer…]

1. Wash the cherries, removing the stalks and picking out any bad ones. If you feel like pitting them, now is the time, but personally I just leave the stones in.
2. Put all the ingredients into a small pan and just cover with the minimum amount of water.
3. Bring it to simmering point, then turn off the heat and go for a nap or something.
4. Wake up. Remember the cherries. Warm them back up on a gentle heat and then eat them up, syrup and all. Syrup’s the best bit. Specially if you have a sore throat.

Makes one enormous helping.

Do you spit or swallow?
(The stones, obviously.)