Things have been a bit wonky for me over the last two or three years. At last, however, I think that I have Found My Mojo. The last couple of months have been an upward spiral, if you can imagine such a thing, and now I can honestly say that stuff is looking good again.
How do I know?
It’s the huge quantity of hare-brained schemes and greater-or-lesser-spotted radical life-altering plans that are frothing around in my brain and the enthusiastic bubbling of my certainty that my only problem is in making sure I don’t try to do too many of them all at once.
I want to cut all my hair off! Plan rejected – it would mean hairdressing and I cannot tell you how much I loathe the experience of going to hairdressers. At least with long hair I can just chop off the ends now and again and call it done.
I want to cut all Baby M’s hair off! Plan achieved. Actually, that one was pretty spontaneous. It needed a trim and in all this heat I think I got carried away… A good thing too, because not only is she now a lot cooler, her new look is rather fabulous and very, very practical.
[Positive side effects – she will no longer be able to come home from nursery in cute-but-silly bunches that I have to untangle when we get home; total strangers will no longer come up to me in the street and say “Goodness, look at those lovely curls!” (as if I might not have spotted them) or “Where did she get those curls from?” (well it clearly wasn’t from me – go study genetics and a possibility might suggst itself) or generally say annoying stuff to suggest that Baby M’s only interesting feature is her curliness, with the air of one bestowing a huge compliment; and the weekly hair-washing trauma is going to be so much easier this way.]
I want to get an allotment! Plan at feasibility-study stage. You can rent one for peanuts, literally it’s about £20 a year and you would easily get that back in fruit and veg. So I’ve contacted the council and put myself down on the waiting list. I’m a bit unsure whether the responsibility is going to be more than I should take on, though. What I really need is an allotment collective, one or two local pals who also fancy growing a bit of fruit and veg but like me want to share the responsibility with others, maybe dividing up the allotment into smaller patches or something. (Hey, anyone? Growing stuff will be super-educational for kids!) This is one brewing at the moment.
I want to write more! Plan in embryonic form. Part of the reason for getting this blog going was to start me back into the pre-baby discipline of daily writing. Now that I’m feeling more disciplined about writing, I’m feeling the urge to start doing creative writing as well as the essays, commentary, book reviews, ranting and various other stuff on here. I’m holding back partly out of fear factor (have I still got a creative spark? can I still do it?) and partly because I don’t want to make the mental commitment and then struggle to make time for it. I’m going to let this idea swirl around for a while before I make any decisions about it.
I want to read more! Plan in progress. Goodness I have so much stuff I want to read. There is the Big Read Project over on Touchingly Naive Books. There are piles of books in my other assorted To Read pile (feminist literature, stuff about the politics of medicine, a couple of novels, some stuff that people have recommended). My reading did slow down for a while in June, but in the last two or three weeks I’m getting back into it.
I want to pack in my job and move to a matriarchal lesbian farming collective in Wales! (or something). Plan shelved until both of my parents have either died or at least moved to the planet Zog and can no longer have kittens about my being a total dropout weirdo loser (or something). Anyway, I don’t even know if there is a matriarchal lesbian farming collective in Wales. With broadband.
I could go on and on. The creative energy in me is currently electrifying (get it? ha!) and now I’m just going to go and Turn Off My Computer And Go And Do Something Less Boring Instead!